Exit highway to hell

You don't know me, and I don't know any more about you than you shared on ludic.mataroa.blog. From reading your blog (let's stay true: totally binging all your posts in a day) I can as well assume we are geographically almost as distant as a sphere permits and have quite different backgrounds and origins. Despite all what separates us, I feel the strong urge to call you my brother (not in the Cain and Able way!). I am a single child, so I am not sure if that is the most accurate description of my feelings, but for the lack of a better phrase, I'll use it for now. Let me give you some background on where these strong emotions come from: I have called my blog “Exit highway from hell” because I have been travelling that road for way too long. Not because I have been struck by disasters or have an objectively bad live — certainly not. Actually, my neighbour says “I am winning in life” and from seeing many places, I know that > 80% of humans would kill to have a life like mine. However, as always, of course, that isn't enough for individuals of our species. Usually people would then say crap such as: “I'd feel way better if I had that promotion/yacht/penthouse/car/*insert other excrements.”, not me though. What I lack can't be bought or worked for. What I am longing for is not of the materialistic kind — unfortunately. Not being able satisfying my hunger led to taking truck loads of antidepressants for many years and likely many more to come. … I realize I am beating around the bush … what I am trying to say is: I feel lonely. Not in the traditional way, though! More like Will Smith in the film “I am legend” or Robinson Crusoe — as if I am the only person alive within my accessible environment. Or using your words: I am the only not cosplaying person I know of. All this has changed when I stumbled upon this post in a German newspaper's comment section, linking your recent AI rant. Since that day, my world has been piledriven (what actually is the correct passive form of to piledrive?). I still can't fully cope with the discovery of your blog. I actually had — kind of — accepted my faith of being the only non-cosplaying person I know of. Honestly, it makes me feel uneasy and causes discomfort to have my world crushed suddenly. On the other hand, it also gives me hope that I might one day have sincere friendship again. After all, if I was able to find one like-minded being, I should be able to find more. I am sure there are other people who feel startled by discovering your blog and are in similar need as me. I am certainly not a religious person, but the analogy of the Star of Bethlehem comes to mind here. If I start following that bright light in the sky (which after 2000 years turned to “that blog on the internet”) I will eventually find other folks who are as desperate and in search of the same as me — I'll just skip the last part with the saviour and founding a religion thing. From this, you can see how you have become a spark of hope for me. A beacon I might be able to follow, guiding me to my highway's next exit. I sincerely wish it to be possible, even though I am not sure yet how to actually accomplish it. Every journey requires its first step, though, and writing this letter to you is the first step I take. Thank you and hopefully see you along the way!

P.S.: Hopefully I was somewhat able to explain my situation in those ~600 words. I read them a few times now and don't feel like I have expressed my self properly (especially on the gratitude I feel towards Ludic). Instead, I made too many wordplays and started on too many ideas that now seem like loose strings. I guess that “style” is just to make me feel smart, but is actually counterproductive to what this post should achieve. I might write a V2 at one point, but for now I just want this to be posted so the journey actually starts.