Love That Hurt

So this dream came long after this incident that happened in my Taekwondo academy. It was almost 2 months after joining, and I had a crush on one of the coach’s daughters who used to replace him while he taught somewhere else. She was very cute and beautiful.

That day I was going to pay the fee, so I asked one of the girls there who I should give the money to, and the girl replied with – “do you think didi is a small girl?” (in my language). I said yes, thinking she was talking about the age. Then I gave the fee and left.

But the next day she also started staring at me.

I thought, am I being creepy? because I almost had my eyes on her. But suddenly she grouped everybody and screamed at me with stuff like “do you think I am small? This is how you respect your teachers?” etc.

At that time I got that guilty thing inside my throat while I was trying hard not to cry, and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Everything went silent.

And because I fear stages, my body started to shake since everyone was looking at me. But I controlled myself.

Afterwards at night, her father called me and said – “did you say she is a small girl? I thought you are a silent, shy guy but you are a bomb.” Also with other non-important stuff, he said that I made her cry.

That hurt a lot.

After that call, a few days later, I left the academy. Not because I was feeling bad, but because I felt left out and no one was really talking to me anymore, which felt like shit.

Now in the dream: I was sleeping on the bed, she came on me. I couldn’t move for some reason, and she started strangling me with her hands while screaming. (High-pitch screams make me angry.)

And then I woke up.

That was the whole dream.

#love #beforewritingblog #sleep

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